Volume 24 - Sacrifice

Linda Kavelin Popov says, "Sacrifice is the willingness to give up something important for something more important. It means to '"make sacred." When we sacrifice for those we care about, it is not a deprivation but a love offering. Sacrificing our time, our possessions, our personal comfort and our resources for something we care passionately about gives back to us a hundred fold. It is worth every drop of sweat and every wound we receive. It is in giving our all for a worthy purpose that we receive genuine prosperity."

My three 'island kids' and I spent much of the last couple of weeks with their sister, my oldest daughter, and her family who we don't see very often because they live in Northern Alberta.

As I watched them drive away this morning, heading for the ferry and the long trip home I was grateful for the sacrifice they made to enable us all to be together again this summer.

I realized that the two of them have sacrificed much for their family, including the freedom of their youth. They did it because they were willing to sacrifice something important for something more important. How did they know to do this?

Her partner, like her, was not privileged to grow up in an 'intact' nuclear family.

They fell in love at a pretty young age (high school sweethearts) and had their first child when they were both eighteen.

My beautiful granddaughter is now fourteen, her sister turns eleven this fall. Together with their little brother (newly five) they are my only grandchildren. I love them all fiercely.

I've watched their mom and dad sacrifice in order to raise them. They forfeited higher education, he to become the breadwinner, she to be the nurturing at home parent. They gave up those carefree 'party' years of late adolescence and early adulthood.

They willingly gave up some of their important 'dreams' for the well-being of their family. In order to make a decent living they've had to sacrifice family time while dad worked away from home for many years. In order to have dad home at night they sacrificed being close to extended family, (and easy access to higher education) by moving to Northern Alberta some years ago so that my son in law could continue in his profession AND be home to tuck the kids in most every night.

Like the rest of us, they haven't always done it perfectly. They may even have some regrets about choices made -- but overall they have made 'sacred' the bonds of family and stuck together -- though neither of them had a clue how to do so because they had never experienced or witnessed it before.

I am both proud and envious. Their kids have a confidence in themselves that warms my heart and I'm eager to watch their lives unfold.

As the child of a broken home I yearned for adulthood and the chance to create the kind of family life I did not have. In the end I was unable to maintain a strong nuclear family for my children and I felt deep grief at what I saw as my failure.

When I imagined my life as a youngster, the details were very different than what actually transpired. I didn't know what I didn't know and was often blindsided by the choices of others.

Like you I made my own sacrifices. In order to give my kids the best that I could deliver I opted to stay in the small towns they had been born in rather than live closer to family who could have lightened the load.

One of the things I sacrificed (due to long years of burn out and stress) was my health. Yet the silver lining of that is I've been blessed to find fulfilling work that allowed me plenty of time to be with them. I've given up many things I would have liked to do for myself so that I could be there for them.

Even so, what I gave my kids often wasn't nearly what they deserved (nor what they thought they wanted) and my energies were stretched pretty thin. Along the way many families 'sacrificed' in their own way to help me do it. Parents of my kids friends taking them under their wings, including them in their own families. Such a blessing.

Though the path wasn't as smooth as I envisioned and sometimes I wanted to quit - I gave my all because I believed it was a worthy purpose. (and our best is all we can do) I know you've done the same in your own life story.

Sitting in circle with my loved ones yesterday -- holding space as each one talked about their present feelings and hopes and fears for the year unfolding -- as each one was seen and valued and acknowledged for the character qualities -- virtues -- they exhibit, I got anew and in a deeper way than ever that my life is and has always been very very rich indeed.

Any regrets I might have about the way things have unfolded pale in the light of this bounty.

How thankful I am for the gifts of 'genuine prosperity' that arise from a life that includes personal sacrifice.

One of the great teachers once said, "O SON OF MAN! My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy." Baha'u'llah

I bow my head in gratitude to the Creator that made it so and who gave me the capacity to recognize it. How thankful I feel to have lived into that truth.

As we approach the Labor Day weekend -- let's take a moment in our lives to appreciate the sacrifices we made that brought us to the place we stand and the sacrifices of those who helped us along the way and lets light a candle or whisper a prayer for those in our world who seem to have lost their way.

Namaste

~ Kate

The Practice of Sacrifice

I discern my true passion.

I offer my love wholeheartedly.

I give whatever I can.

I invest completely in my life's purpose.

I accept the losses along with the gifts.

I am committed to the value of my dreams.

I am thankful for the gift of Sacrifice. It makes my life sacred.

Reflection Questions

What is my true passion?

How can I invest completely in my life's purpose?

How have my calamities been my providence?

What has been 'made sacred' by my sacrifice?

Virtues Project Intensives - Register 3 and the 4th's on me!

What a post from Kate? Is she going to write a 'weekly' newsletter? Well, I have been considering that (feedback would be welcome -- do you think it would be valuable? -- are you willing to email stories and ideas? -- thoughts?)

This post though is an 'advert' for some upcoming intensives here on Vancouver Island. If you love the project and feel okay about it -- feel free to post a link on your social networking sites, refer a friend to the blog, or?

I hope that wherever you are you are gleaning peace and joy from the last days of summer and your transition into fall is smooth.

Namaste,

~ Kate

************

These are tough times and it's hard to know where to put our energies (and resources) Stress and pressures abound.

Can it be better ... ?

Yes, it can.
You can make it better -- for yourself, for those around you, for your world.
Just by doing things you already do.

The Virtues Project is a simple but revolutionary way to look at yourself ... and others ...
to identify and encourage our strengths ...
to use them to support growth in our weak areas ...
to create communities of safety and creativity.

For more than 20 years now, the Virtues Project has been inspiring people around the world.
It is being used in more than 90 countries -- by individuals, governments, corporations, social service agencies, community organizations and schools -- to develop individuals and communities of strength, hopefulness and resilience.

On October 22 & 23rd, Virtues Project Master Facilitator Kate Marsh will be leading a small group of people
in an intensive exploration of how nurturing our inner qualities can change our lives ...
and the world around us.

It's happening in the quietly glorious seaside village of Chemainus, on Canada's majestic Vancouver Island.
And there are still openings available ...

This two day introduction will be followed by The Virtues Project Facilitator Intensive October 25th through 27th. Spend time planning how to seemlessly incorporate the five strategies into your lives, communities and workplaces.

I'm so convinced that the Virtues Project is one of the best ways to address the issues you face as 'spiritual beings having a human experience' (and the issues the planet faces at 'The Great Turning') I'm offering an extra incentive to come. Register 3 people and the 4th is on me.

For more details click on the dates above.

Volume 23 - Generosity

Has it been a month already? Unbelievable!

I've just spent almost a week in the home of two of my dearest friends with some of the people I love the most in the world. As I write this blog, the rest of the folks are vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms, packing the cars and readying for the trip home. (so this will be short)

*************Due to technical difficulties, before I could send this blog out to cyber space, we had to hit the road.... so here we are today, 24 hours later in the Visitor's Center in the Western Washington town of Aberdeen -- the birthplace of Kurt Cobain -- after a chilly night camping on the west coast, (where poor Holly's inflatable mattress, neglected to stay inflated and the light summer blanket we brought did not keep us warm.....remember those camping stories folks?

We have had a wonderful time thanks to the generosity of two dear, dear friends.

Mark and I had planned a visit to the area where his family lives -- to reconnect and share our plans with them.

My dear friends the Grovers immediately offered their home, even though they were going to be away at their own family reunion. (we missed you guys!)

We have known each other for almost 18 years now, and though we haven't lived in the same area for at least ten of them, our hearts still remain connected. They are the kind of friends we think of as 'family'.

They generously offered to open their two bedroom home to a potential 8 people.

We had originally hoped to number 8 staying in their beautiful home, but only six were able to gather. We met here, for many meals and wonderful times with seven others, ranging in age from 6 to 65.

We played and listened to live music, laughed and shared stories and grew to love and know each other more deeply.

Many happy memories were made and recounted.

"The gift which is given without thought of recompense, in the belief that it ought to be made, in a fit place, at an opportune time and to a deserving person -- such a gift is pure." Bhagavad-Gita 17:20

Linda Kavelin Popov reminds us that 'generosity is giving and sharing. It is giving freely because you want to, not with the idea of receiving a reward or a gift in return. Generosity is a quality of the spirit. It is an awareness that there is plenty for everyone. It is seeing an opportunity to share what you have and then giving just for the joy of giving. Generosity is one of the best ways to show love."

Dick and Jane certainly gave our clan the gift of generosity.

Someone once said, "The heart is happiest when it beats for others."

I hope their gift made them even half as happy as it made us.

I hope you are getting plenty of time to spend with your loved ones and having a safe and happy summer.

As the song goes, see you in September.

Namaste

~ Kate

The Practice of Generosity

I am thoughtful about the needs of others.

I notice when someone needs help.

I give freely without hope of return.

I give fully without holding back.

I am willing to make sacrifices for others.

I use wisdom about sharing treasured belongings.

I am generous. I look for opportunities to give and to share. There is plenty of time for thoughtfulness. I give freely, fully and cheerfully.

Reflection Questions

What does generosity call me to today?

Who would I like to give to, without holding back?

Who in my community could use my help, even in a small way?

What will I do to assist them?

Volume 22 - Unity

I've been thinking a lot about our planet and who lives here these past four weeks. Common sense would dictate to me that we need to find a way to live together, in peace and harmony.

You know the -- 'what the world needs now, is love sweet love' -- kind of thing.

Does common sense prevail? Sometimes. (Maybe always, given enough time.)

Seems everyday, 'scientists' are proving what common sense has always known. For instance I just read a study that proves that organic fruits and vegetables are better for you than non-organic 'sprayed with chemicals' produce. Our grandmothers could have told us that, and many of us have been living with that common sense for decades. In recent years, we have 'learned' brown rice is better for you than white. Really? Who knew? :-) My favorite 'new' insight -- You might want to be wary of chemicals you put on your skin; if you wouldn't eat it, maybe you don't want to slather it all over yourself. Duh.

I could go on and on, but you are probably mentally adding several to this list just off the top of your head. (I'd love to see them posted here as comments!)

What worries me the most is that the direction we've taken (calling it 'development') has caused untold problems, for ourselves and the other life forms we cohabit the earth with. And though most of us finally recognize it, we don't seem to know what to do about it -- or when we do, we don't seem to have the will, personal or political, do to it.

Black Elk, the Lakota teacher, reminded us that "all things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One."

The depth and breadth of the unity of life is being discovered by human beings daily, yet little is being done to stop the destruction by one species (read "people") of the majority of the rest -- 'all our relations,' as they are spoken of by the First Nations people in the region where I live. And then, ironically, since what we do to them we are also doing to ourselves, we don't seem able to stop what looks like the inevitable destruction of whole populations of humans, just as we haven't been able to protect thousands upon thousands of other living species.

Brian Swimme points out in The Hidden Heart of the Cosmos that human beings, as a result of insight and technological skills, have become what he calls a 'macrophase' power: our impact on the earth has the potential to be as powerful as the Ice Age glaciations, or the forces that catalyzed the great extinctions of the past. Unfortunately, he adds, we only have a 'microphase' sense of responsibility or ethical judgment. So far, at least, we humans have not developed the requisite vision or judgment to act on our own (and the planet's) best behalf.

"Now, our concerns for the human community can only be fulfilled by a concern for the integrity of the natural world. The planet cannot support its human presence unless there is a reciprocal human support for the life systems of the planet." -- Thomas Berry

The BP Horizon oil disaster and its disputed rate of flow is one example. Exxon Valdez might have taught us of the dangers of oil to our coastal regions; yet for some reason, our insatiable appetite helped us to 'conveniently' overlook the lesson. Consequently, in the Gulf of Mexico as you read this, 'relations' from sea to air to shore are being affected, many of them fatally, and there appears to be no end in sight.

I remember as a child learning of the extinction of species caused by mankind; yet 40-plus years later, some 30,000 species are still going extinct every year. The planet's most eminent biodiversity specialists have said that 'Earth faces a catastrophic loss of species.' (Steve Connor, The Independent, July 20, 2006) The majority of the extinctions have been caused by habitat destruction, under the guise of what some humans call 'development'. Fully 95 percent of the primordial forests of North America have been destroyed -- and developers are battling with ecologists to for the right to take down as much of the remaining 5 percent as regulation will allow.

I don't know where you live, but I'd be surprised if you haven't noticed the 'changeable' weather patterns of the last number of years. The decade from January 2000 to December 2009 was the warmest on record, according to NASA.

Not only is fresh water becoming harder to provide for much of the world -- with 3 billion more human beings expected by mid-century -- but severe food shortages are inevitable.

Life, as modern wo/man has known it must change -- radically. Choices we have made in the past have created a very serious crisis. If we are to survive as a species, and to reverse the trend of destruction that our rush to industrialize has ramped up to frenetic levels, we have to make some very different choices from here on in.

"We know that we are the ones who are divided, and we are the ones who must come back together to walk in the Sacred Way." -- Ojibway Prayer (Oneworld Book of Prayer, p. 152)

What is the sacred way? Centuries before Christ, the Greek healer Hippocrates, writing the creed for physicians, said, 'First do no harm." Imagine what the world would be like if humanity was to truly embrace that sacred way.

Is it even possible?

What would need to happen?

Unity of purpose at the outset.

"Unity," Linda Kavelin Popov writes, "is a powerful virtue and it brings great strength. Unity is inclusiveness. It brings people together. We see our commonality without devaluing our differences. We experience our connectedness with all people and all life." (italics added)

People need to feel like they have a voice in order to feel united with others. They need to feel like they matter. Often, it's fear that keeps us from listening to those who think differently than we do. Fear and prejudice. But "unity frees us from the divisiveness of prejudice and heals our fears" (LKP again).

I was disheartened at the events outside the G20 meeting in Toronto this past week. But I was also disheartened at the main focus of the meeting. I realize that those leaders felt the need and the pressure to avert further economic crises and set their agenda accordingly. But there were members of my family, 'the human family,' who were there because they had even greater concerns on their mind, and they want a place at the table and a voice in the debate.

As Thomas Berry (cultural historian and ecotheologian (although cosmologist and geologian — or “Earth scholar” — were his preferred descriptors) points out, "Fixation on the primacy of industry in the well-being of the human is producing a recession of the basic resources of Earth which is now a permanent condition. This recession is not a temporary economic recession of any one nation, nor the recession of some financial or commercial arrangement; it is an irreversible recession of the planet itself, in many of the basic aspects of its functioning. The Earth simply cannot sustain the burden imposed on it."

I understand the desire to ensure that whole economies don't collapse, but common sense would seem to urge an approach that considers the 'real' costs of any such measures. Trying to keep the stock markets afloat if the Earth is going down is like polishing the china and putting the jewelry in the safe on the Titanic. If we haven't hit the iceberg, we're certainly heading for it, full steam ahead.

Thomas Berry, in The Great Work: Our Way Into the Future (N.Y., Bell Tower, 1999), sees the last night on the Titanic as an apt parable for our response to the current global situation.

"Long before the collision, those in command had abundant evidence that icebergs lay ahead. The course had been set, however, and no one wished to alter its direction. Confidence in the survival capacities of the ship was unbounded. ... What happened to that 'unsinkable' ship is a kind of parable for us, since only in the most dire situations do we have the psychic energy needed to examine our way of acting on the scale that is now required. The daily concerns over the care of the ship and its passengers needed to be set aside for a more urgent concern, the well-being of the ship itself. Here is where macrophase concerns in one context become microphase concerns in another context. Passenger concerns in the situation of the Titanic needed to give way to a macrophase decision about the ship itself."

We need to collectively awaken our macrophase vision, at once. We need to experience and understand our unity -- not just with other humans, but with 'all our relations,' -- every life form who rides this planet with us -- and we need to begin feeling and thinking and acting from that deep, full sense of unity. In these times, and the times to come, blessed indeed is the individual human who can say, "I refuse to engage in conflict, seeking peace in all circumstances. "

Linda Popov reminds us that "unity comes when we value every person, in our family or in the world. The joy of one is the joy of all. The hurt of one is the hurt of all. The honor of one is the honor of all."

When I think of the enormity of the issues we are facing, I feel overwhelmed. You probably do too. What can you or I, only one of more than 6 billion people, possibly do?

Some of what we can do, and are doing, may have begun to sound like cliches or motherhood and apple pie.

Think globally, act locally. Check. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Check. Grow a garden (and/or support a community garden or farmer's market). Check. Buy organic, as much as possible. Check. Move to cleaner energy. Working on it. Conserve water. Working on it.

As we stand at a precipice once again -- on the cusp of 'business as usual' or 'let's try it a new way', -- may we chose anew.

If each of us could fully embrace the unity of all living things, we'd be one giant step closer tolearning to live in unity with the ecosystems of the world.

Those of us living in the West have come to expect 'the good life'. And in recent history the good life meant having more than enough, having luxury with little or no regard for the impact on the ecosystem. We have perhaps one generation to make 'the good life' mean one that gives back as much as it takes, or more, a life that lives in harmony with all living things around it.

At the risk of sounding like a cliche -- let it be this generation.

That way, even if (Gaia forbid) we can't stop the human ship from sinking, we'll go down more fully humane.

Namaste~

~ Kate

The Practice of Unity

I am a lover of humanity.

I seek common ground.

I appreciate differences.

I resolve conflicts peacefully.

I honor the value of each individual [and every living thing].

I am a unifier.

I am thankful for the gift of Unity. It makes me an instrument of peace.

Reflection Questions

How can I be a unifier in my immediate world?

What can I do to help the earth and "all her relations?

Who in my neighborhood is being excluded from the table? (and how can I invite them?)

What action am I called to in the wider world?

Volume 21 - Idealism

This past weekend, I faced the realization (with sadness as well as joy) that my relationship with my only son Ian, my little boy, has changed forever. In spite of (or perhaps because of -- after all we can't really know such things -- no way to conduct a double-blind study on an individual's life)....oh, rambling already? -- where was I? Oh right, in spite of the fact that his father and I divorced, he has grown into a unique, creative, compassionate, forward-thinking idealist. He is one of my greatest teachers and one of the human beings I most admire.

He will continue to be in my life for as long as I live, yet clearly, the way that will continue is going to change now.... I already miss his day-to-day presence.

Though he started out as a 'home learner', he graduated from our local 'conventional' high school this past February. This was a noteworthy accomplishment for one of the most unconventional young men I have ever met, (that may not have come about without the dedication, acceptance and flexibility of the administration and staff of said school) -- and, I might add, an outcome that was in question several times over the last couple of years, as he expressed frustration and anger at the lack of relevance to his life of the courses he was taking. Since then, he's been trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life.

He spent a lot of time the last three months on a 'school project' -- finishing a CD album of his own original songs (championing his beliefs and dreams for the world). He also spent time in the garden, helping to pull weeds and spread manure, looking forward to this summer's fresh veggie crop. He even cleaned his room! And we had many, many long conversations about the future ... his, mine, yours, the earth's.

Like many teens worldwide, he is deeply concerned about the state of our environment and the state of our relationships -- to ourselves, each other and the planet we all share. Unlike many teens (or adults for that matter) he mainly 'walks his talk.' (Sometimes he walks it literally - it was only recently, at, 18, that he finally consented to get a driver's license.) He also takes ownership of his feelings, expressing them freely and asking others to share theirs. When he 'screws up' (his words) he apologizes and makes amends as needed and possible. If the folks in his world are struggling in relation to each other, he attempts to mediate, pointing out the principle of love and respect and inviting each party to see what's good about the other. He absolutely refuses to listen to backbiting, nor will he speak disparagingly (or even gossip) about another. He's also the 'water police' at our house, using the low-flow toilet in the basement bathroom and reminding each of us to turn the tap off when we're brushing our teeth or washing the dishes.

He was the person who gave me a perspective on the cost to the planet's water reserves our Western way of life creates. For instance, did you know it takes up to 1,500 gallons of water to produce one standard pair of blue jeans? Or 53 gallons to produce a coffee-shop latte?

Oh, side-tracked again.... back to my boy.

Very much an independent, with an idealism about what's possible that inspires (and sometimes irritates) others, in 11th grade he suggested his high school create a vegetable garden. Part of it was a creative way he could see for doing an independent study to gain credits towards graduation. Though it didn't work out as an independent study, (and he had very little physically to do with it's construction) the school principal was very open to and supportive of the idea, and several folks from the local green community got involved. The garden not only lives, but through the initiatives of other idealists (both students and faculty) the school has begun composting; (they've been recycling for a long time), and recently planted fruit trees. With help from a BC Hydro grant, they will soon become the first high school in British Columbia to capture enough energy from solar panels on the roof to meet all their hot water needs.

My son has written numerous letters to the local paper, advocating that the former (now unused) elementary school building be used as a community center for our small town, and urging that its grounds be converted into a community garden. (He once wanted to plant apple seeds in the borders of the school grounds, hoping they would eventually turn into trees with fruit to feed people.) Neither of these things have happened so far, but hey, who knows?

Ian is the one young man I know who best epitomizes the Shaw quote, "You see things and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were and I say, "Why not?'"

A week ago, as part of his exploration of how to live "in the world, but not of it," he left our home for a nine-week internship at O.U.R. Ecovillage, a sustainable learning 'intentional' community and demonstration site located in the beautiful Cowichan Valley on Vancouver Island, BC. O.U.R. EcoVillage bases their work on Permaculture principles and offers learning opportunities for Natural Building, Sustainable Food Production and Leadership.

"Permaculture is sustainable land-use design. This is based on ecological and biological principles, often using patterns that occur in nature to maximise effect and minimise work. Permaculture aims to create stable, productive systems that provide for human needs, harmoniously integrating the land with its inhabitants. The ecological processes of plants, animals, their nutrient cycles, climatic factors and weather cycles are all part of the picture. Inhabitants’ needs are provided for using proven technologies for food, energy, shelter and infrastructure. Elements in a system are viewed in relationship to other elements, where the outputs of one element become the inputs of another. Within a Permaculture system ... “wastes” become resources, productivity and yields both increase, and environments are restored. Permaculture principles can be applied to any environment, at any scale, from dense urban settlements to individual homes, from farms to entire regions." --Wikipedia

Of course, this is right up Ian's alley. For several years now, he has been consciously choosing how to live and move in the world based on the need for and virtues of living a life more aligned with our natural rhythms, more unified with those around us. A healthy and sustainable life that is good for the earth and for all her relations.

I'm excited for him personally -- and for all of us, collectively. Learning to live in a community has never been more needed. Humans of all races need to learn how to do this. Learning to live 'sustainably' is critical. I think if we don't learn these skills fast, humanity is doomed. The feedback from the planet and her systems about our present way of life has been loud and long and clear.

We didn't need another 'wake up' call in my mind, but on Earth Day, April 20th -- courtesy of British Petroleum (who did the drilling), the United States government (who let them), and ourselves (through our voracious consumption) -- we got one. The Gulf Coast oil fiasco is just one more incident with untenable consequences, in the long line of 'industrialization' (read global destruction) that began in earnest with the razing of the Cedars of Lebanon around 2000 BCE, ultimately creating the Arabian desert in what was formerly the 'fertile crescent' surrounding the Tigris and Euphrates rivers -- and now, culminating in the worldwide ecological disaster humankind is tottering on the brink of. (Some might say we've slipped over the edge and are in free fall.)

We couldn't be in a bigger mess. We sure as hell don't want to be. Overpopulation, climate change, proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, loss of entire species and ecosystems, new viruses and diseases, economic uncertainty, drought, famine...(need I say more?) Okay, war.... It only stands to reason that trying to solve problems with the same flawed thinking and poor stewardship that created them is not the answer.

But what is?

I remember my own idealistic youth, followed by decades of unflagging optimism about what is possible. Now, at the ripe old age of 53, I am often worn out, jaded, dispirited and disappointed. I can get downright glum about our prospects for creating what, in my heart, I know is possible. Young men and women (and more optimistic older ones) can see the vision for a better future and can't understand why the rest of us aren't changing. They are voting with their lives. Dropping out of the cultural norms and pioneering new forms of living.

They are the kind of idealists we need: fresh, untainted by decades of trying to make a difference, only to have their hard-won contributions wiped out by the 'establishment' or the latest swing of the pendulum of party politics. They see the 'system' for what it is, a construct that has to die for us to live, and they want to choose life, and choose it now.

Linda Kavelin Popov describes idealists as "having a vision of what is possible and wanting to make a difference. Idealists," she says, "care passionately about what is meaningful in life and see things as they could be. They also have faith in the power of change."

Like my dear son, idealists "put ... principles into practice," not merely accepting the way things are or merely talking about how it could be better. Idealists dare to have big dreams and then act as if they are possible. Some of us are "idle dreamers." I think I'm too often guilty of falling in that category. As Linda Popov says, "Idle dreamers just wish things were better. Idealists do something to make things better."

To make things better here on this planet, we need a sustainable design for living as a species, in unity with the other living systems, including Mother Earth herself.

I love that my son and his fellow students are doing something to make things better, not only by learning skills for building sustainably, but also by knowing that everyone and everything on the planet is interdependent and that any true (workable) solution will have to take that into account.

International environmental advocate David Suzuki (another one of the human beings I most admire) contends that "what permaculturists are doing is the most important activity that any group is doing on the planet. We don’t know what details of a truly sustainable future are going to be like, but we need options, we need people experimenting in all kinds of ways; and permaculturists are one of the critical gangs that are doing that.” (italics added)

All around the world, we see destruction and disintegration. It's hard to remain optimistic in the face of it. It's essential that we cling to our idealism -- the kind that dreams and does.

Although he was prophesying about the civil rights movement 44 years ago, Bobby Kennedy's statement is equally true about the 'way of life' of humans on planet earth: "A revolution is coming -- a revolution which will be peaceful if we are wise enough; compassionate if we care enough; successful if we are fortunate enough -- but a revolution which is coming whether we will it or not. We can affect its character; we cannot alter its inevitability."

“There is something awesome, mysterious, and divine in humanity that has called groups of people, throughout history, to risk everything to speak the truth . . . Let us not get lost in the culture of fear that is being thrust upon us... human consciousness is experiencing birth pains. Remember Teilhard de Chardin’s call to assist in this new emergence by passionately practicing love for life.” – Thomas Atum O’Kane

On those days when I find that too hard, I'm gonna stand beside/behind the idealists of this world. (Even if all I can do is make them dinner)

Where will you stand?

The Practice of Idealism

I have a dream.

I have a plan.

I have faith in the highest possible outcome.

I walk my talk.

I persevere.

I make a difference.

I am thankful for the gift of Idealism. It helps me to realize my dreams.

Reflection Questions

What is my dream for this world?

How can I make a difference?

What commitment must I make to 'walk my talk'?

What in my mind is the highest possible outcome and how can I contribute to helping it come about?

Volume 20 - Patience

I decided to write about patience this month. Much of the events of last week seemed to be conspired to 'try' mine.

April 30th is the deadline for individuals to file their income tax in Canada. Though as an independent facilitator (with an unincorporated business) I legally have until June 15th to file, I wanted to take advantage of a sale price on the online software I use, which expired on April 30th.

I started early in the week. Computer software speaks a language, I am not fluent in. I knew that it would be challenging to get a whole years income and expenses, calculated (yes, I confess, I'm one of those 'shoebox' bookeepers) -- but given enough time, it would work. I knew it was a matter of patient perseverance.

It only happens once a year, so it takes me time to get into the groove. By Wednesday (the 28th) I felt I was finally in the flow. Right in the middle of inputting, I was suddenly knocked off line.

Now, living with two teenagers that share my main computer, I've had more than enough opportunity to reboot and reset my computer during those times when inexplicably I cannot 'connect'.

After an hour of 'patiently' attempting all the tricks I've been coached to use to get back online, I broke down and called my server.

After waiting 'patiently' on the telephone for several minutes, I was told that service in my area was down and there was no known estimated time for resolution.

This state of affairs continued until Friday (the day of filing) when a call to the server gave me the unwelcome news that the ETA of resolution was May 3rd!

Sigh...

Linda Kavelin Popov tells us that, "patience is quiet hope and faith that things will turn out right. We trust the process of life. We are not hasty. We do not rush or allow ourselves to be overcome by pressure. Patience helps us to endure things we cannot control with a peaceful heart. We respond to mistakes or delays, not with judgment but gentleness. We recognize the lessons that come through waiting, and receive them as gifts unfolding with Divine timing. Patience brings acceptance. It calls us to be restful and to listen deeply. Patience soothes our souls."

I always thought that patience was a feeling, a kind of serene 'Mother Theresa' state that one either had, or didn't. Certainly, when practicing patience, one has a greater sense of serenity than might otherwise be the case. When I'm impatient, I'm also not really present. Present to what is, rather than what I hope for.

Many, many times in my life, when things have not gone according to plan, I have felt 'impatient'. Frustrated. Upset.

This time was no exception. I not only had the tax deadline to meet, I also had a blog to publish.

What to do? Take all my paperwork and my laptop, to some public internet access zone and carry on? That thought didn't seem very inviting.

I decided to try acceptance and cultivate patience (though I didn't feel it) and endure what I couldn't control, (and aim for a peaceful heart). I would file my taxes at some future date and write the blog once service was restored.

Suddenly, there was a block of time that was free and clear. What next? I became 'still in the moment' and was 'restful' and 'listened deeply'. And what called was a day on Saltspring Island with my beloved, starting with a leisurely stroll at the Saturday market and ending with a sunset ferry ride. Bliss.

***

This was a relatively painless walk with patience. It was easy to trust that things would eventually turn out right.

What happens with the more personally challenging things in life? Can patience soothe those?

Last month I shared my continuing journey with moderation and the resultant young 'visitors' who've been coming to call. The unseen, unheard, unmet selves that live under the surface --beneath the persona and personality -- I've developed as an adult. About how hard it is for me to accept and be 'patient' with them.

I've come to really believe (at a deep, deep level) the importance of tending these wounded ones -- of loving and honouring them - trusting that doing so will allow new parts of myself to come forward -- to blossom.

Ancient wisdom?

Long before the time of the formal science of psychology, Rumi said, "This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond."

I've entertained many such 'guests' over the years. I suspect you have too, (even if you weren't consciously aware that was who they were). Once we become conscious of these visitors (and the truth that all human beings have them), it becomes infinitely easier to be there - with and for them.

And embarking on a path of consciousness and growth seems to call them forward like nothing else.

Growing is not for sissies. It can feel overwhelming at times. How do we hold all these parts of ourselves? How can we be patient with them? How can we love the hurting little selves within us, and within others? How can we heal, ourselves, our world?

Big questions. Critical answers. Most of the world's ills are caused by people who are 'out of touch' with their true selves. In 1992, Marty Daniels coined the phrase (which Bill Cosby often repeats), "Hurt people hurt people."

We don't have to look far to see the truth of those words. Many of us live with such people; most of us have been such people at one time or another. If you miraculously happen to be in the miniscule minority for which neither of these apply, just glance at a newspaper, or listen to a news broadcast, or look around your neighbourhood.

How much could be healed by each of us asking those big questions, seeking those critical answers? Nothing is more needed for our souls, and for the survival of humanity.

"You suppose you are the trouble, but you are the cure. You suppose that you are the lock on the door, but you are the key that opens it." - Rumi

Namaste~

~ Kate

The Practice of Patience

I am hopeful and expectant.

I do not rush.

I am gentle with myself and others when we make mistakes.

I accept things I cannot control with humor and grace.

I am confident that my life is unfolding as it should.

I live fully in the present moment.

I am thankful for the gift of Patience. It helps me to keep my peace.

Reflection Questions

What little person needs my love and patience?

How can I trust the process of life?

What lessons have come to me through waiting?

Whom do I most need to be patient with?

Volume 19 - Caring

Wow, I can hardly believe it's been four weeks since I wrote about and pledged to walk with moderation in March.

Was I able to be moderate? Sometimes I actually was. It was a more graceful month than many. I liked the pace. Though there were days when I overdid and felt overdone, I got enough of a taste of that kind of life that I've decided to renew my option and carry on the journey with moderation. A life of moderation has many gifts.

One thing that happened when I stopped rushing around frantically, trying to be everything to everybody, is I began to hear and really listen to some voices I haven't acknowledged for awhile. Some young voices (and feelings) of Kathy's and Kate's who have lived inside my psyche for decades. Voices of the ones that feel like they are not enough, unlovable, less than. Ones that never had a voice because there was no one there who could listen. One's that were abandoned by the adults in their world. (who had also been abandoned) Ones that weren't met or celebrated in the childhood home I grew up in. A home were people did their best in an often chaotic environment dominated by alcohol, confusion and denial. What those folks lived with they learned, what they learned they practiced and what they practiced they became, and so it goes on.

Over the years I've learned that those little frightened children that weren't met still live inside us. It seems that I am now in a place where mine feel safe enough to come forward once again, tentatively, yet persistently, to be loved and cared for by me.

Frederick Buechner said it more poetically, "You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world, but a world lives in you.

At first I felt confused when they showed up again, out of the blue. What's up? The adult me is very happy and content. Then I felt irritated and impatient. Haven't I done enough work? Then sad. Are these guys always going to haunt me? Finally I judged myself mercilessly. How self indulgent. Dysfunctional. Pathetic.

What a shocking (uncaring) barrage of judgments my internal critic had!

Thankfully, it wasn't long before I realized that I was treating those wounded parts of me differently than I would if they were literal 'others' sitting right in front of me. Others being the operative word. I have no trouble caring for others when they are hurting. Children and adults, the children in adults. I've had years of experience with this. Workshops often constellate the wounded parts of participants and I meet those parts with love and caring. And they are one step further along towards healing.

Caring for myself? (especially my wounded selves) I don't have a frame of reference for that. It's never been modeled for me. My heart knows its important, even necessary, but my mind and my internal critic expects more of me than of anyone else. Expects me to be done with childhood things. After all, I tell myself, you've been working this stuff for 30 years now.

'When will you be done?' I ask myself. 'Who knows? Does it really matter? Aren't those little ones worth it? Don't they deserve it?' Of course they do. All children do.

How do I care for the parts of myself that I'm not proud of, that haven't quite grown up, that aren't always rational? That are sometimes downright whiny? First things first. Acknowledging I have those parts is step one.

I found this quote in my in box this morning.

"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind."
--Alex Karra

Courage to welcome these little ones? Yes it takes courage. It also takes caring.

I'm normally pretty good at caring, I bet you are too. Caring for others is easy, especially little ones. What about caring for self? Especially the parts of self that most often remain hidden from consciousness. What about caring for the little parts of ourself that pop up, unbidden as we are trying to go about living?

Linda Kavelin Popov reminds us that, 'caring is giving tender attention to the people and things that matter to us....being a compassionate witness, listening to another wholeheartedly and without judgment."

I am so down with this, going the extra mile for those I care about. Caring is one of my core virtues, unless (I've discovered) and until the one that needs caring for is some 'shadow' aspect of myself. Then it gets hard.

She goes on: "Caring is a sign of love. When we care for others, we notice how they feel and what they need. When we care for ourselves, we have more to give to others. Caring is a gift from the heart."

When I'm not being moderate, I'm too busy to notice these little ones inside that need my caring. I rush off to the next meeting or tackle the next duty. When feelings prick through it becomes easy to temporarily numb them with activity, or food, or some other kind of escape. Some people use gossip, or television, or romance novels. Some people use promiscuity, alcohol, other drugs. Their personal drug of choice. Whatever. It has the same effect. Those hurt ones are hurt all over again.

I've written before about the Fibromyalgia that knocked me out for a few years. After decades of living outside myself brought me to my knees when my body finally said, no, it began a long journey of love and acceptance. I began to learn the importance of listening to and caring for myself.

And I gained a greater appreciation of one of the meanings of Jesus' oft repeated refrain:

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." Gospel of Thomas

So, this month, along with moderation, I pledge to practice caring. Caring for my loved ones of course. For our earth and any beings the Goddess puts in my path, yes. In addition though, and especially, I pledge to practice caring for the needy ones living deep within me. I invite you to do the same.

Namaste~

~ Kate

The Practice of Caring

I take an interest in others and listen deeply.

I look for ways to be considerate and helpful.

I am gentle and loving with anyone and anything I place in my care.

I give excellence to whatever I do.

I am passionate about my beliefs.

I take good care of myself.

I am thankful for the gift of caring. It helps me to express my love.

Reflection Questions

What practices would help me be more caring for the tender ones that live within me?

How can I balance caring for self and others?

What boundaries do I need to set in order to do so?

What habits could I let go of that keep me from caring for my self?