I thought it was logical to write about gratitude or thankfulness last month, since October 1st was right in the middle of the Canadian and US Thanksgiving holidays. Then I was swept away by 'Obamamania', and decided to write from my heart, about the hope and optimism I was feeling.
I'd postpone gratitude for this month, I decided. After all, it was right on the heels of the US Thanksgiving, so still in the ball park. And after the 4th of November, I felt I had something big to be thankful for.
Well, I'm still writing about Gratitude, just not in the way I imagined.
Cicero opined that, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
What do parents do for us?
They look after us, our health and well being, making sure we eat right, get enough rest and exercise, do our homework and contribute to the family; and those exemplary parents, take it a step further and make sure we contribute to our community, in acts of service. How can we relate this to Cicero's idea of gratitude as the parent of all other virtues?
Dr.'s Michael McCollough (South Western Methodist University, Dallas TX) and Robert Emmons (U of CA at Davis), wrote an article about their findings on gratitude and it's impact on well-being.
The results of a scientific study they conducted showed that people who had a daily practice of gratitude report higher levels of alertness, determination, energy, enthusiasm and optimism, which probably doesn't sound too surprising, however, what I found interesting was the gratitude group experienced less stress and depression and were more likely to exercise regularly, help others and make greater progress towards personal goals. Powerful stuff.
Moving to gratitude can take us from depression to joy, from apathy to alertness and determination, from fatigue to energy, even enthusiasm and optimism. An attitude of gratitude helps us stay and become healthier and more able to contribute to the world around us. In his book, "Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier", Dr. Emmons shows that regularly practicing and expressing gratitude can increase our level of happiness by about 25%!
What might that look like in our everyday lives? (you know, that place where stuff happens?)
Linda Kavelin Popov tell us that, "Gratitude is a constant attitude of thankfulness and appreciation for life as it unfolds. (sic) Living in the moment, we are open to abundance around us and within us. We express appreciation freely. We contemplate the richness of our life. We feast on beauty. We notice small graces and are thankful for daily gifts. In life's trials, we seek to understand, to accept, and to learn. Gratitude is the essence of genuine happiness. It is a virtue we can never have too much of. Gratitude is a continual celebration of life."
It's been a busy few weeks and I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed. I left home yesterday, feeling on the verge of anxiety or tears, not really knowing why. Perhaps because the weekend hadn't been the restful, peaceful retreat I had hoped and planned for? What I really wanted was to curl up with the novel I'm reading and take the day off. Deadlines and family commitments precluded this possibility however, so I decided to make the best of it. What could I be grateful for? Well, I could use the time to get some things done.
First I'd pack in some errands, so perhaps I'd get some novel time, tomorrow. The holidays are coming, and it was the last day to get a 'six pac' of lift tickets on sale. I remembered that and headed right over to the sporting goods store. They even gave me a nice little envelope and gift card. I even took some time for some light banter; life was good.
A short walk to the dollar store and I managed to get supplies for the workshop I'm facilitating next Saturday, AND for the gift basket her school class is going to raffle off at the upcoming Breakfast with Santa fundraiser. Yes, things were working out!
Now, just two more stops, and I would head over to the library to write this newsletter, and all things going well, swim a few laps before the end of dance class. Isn't life great? So much to be grateful for.
I stopped in at Staples, to get one of those digital photo frames for my parents. That's where it started to get interesting........
I'll just put this in the car, to free my hands for the next thing on my list, a gift for my 28 year old daughter. I'll just slip it in here, with my laptop, hidden in my 'swim bag' on the front seat of the car....just stick the towel on top for good measure.
Things are flowing along nicely, and I'm starting to feel, if not exactly grounded, at least a sense of balance. I imagine how good I'm going to feel, after a 20 minute swim. Yes, life is good.
I'm heading to the jewelry store in the mall, one of many local businesses that are sadly 'closing their doors' this season in my beloved little valley, when what do I see, a Source clearance center. I pop in and pick up a new deluxe set of earbuds for my son, who is rarely seen without his Ipod strapped to his body. Feels like some kind of synchronicity going on. I love days like this, I'm thinking.
I reach into my pocket to get my keychain change purse, to pay for the buds and......... what? Oh, I must have put it in my bag.....reaching down and rumbling through the contents of my bag I find.......a spilt bottle of Ibuprofen, some old receipts, a brush, my wallet, but no keychain change purse, which means........ NO CAR KEYS! I frantically begin to search my pockets again, then the counter, the two aisles I had been browsing and NOTHING. I quickly pay for the ear buds and rush out to the car.
Peering inside I can clearly see, no keys in the ignition. My granny bag (sewn from old recycled fabric), was sitting on the passenger seat, my laptop and the digital frame carefully tucked inside, cleverly concealed by the bathing towel purposefully spilling out the top. But alas, no keys in sight. Then it occurred to me. What if I had left the keys in the door, sticking out of the lock?
And if I had, since they were no longer there, that meant that whoever potentially had the keys, not only had the considerable cash in the change purse, but also a means to get into the car. Stealing the car, I could handle. I have insurance for that. But stealing my laptop, that would be another matter, my whole working life is highly intertwined with that laptop. Feelings of optimism and gratitude are slipping far, far away and somewhere deep in my unconscious mind, I am quickly moving to 'fight or flight'.
Sheesh! Now what?
There was only about an hour and fifteen minutes for me to solve this problem and get to the community center in time to pick my daughter up from her class. (a long walk from where I was, if I didn't find my keys!)
I wandered back into Staples for the umpteenth time, and feeling totally alone and without any friends (a story I can tell myself when I get on an old familiar perch, 'The Pity Pot") (nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms....etc)
Right about this time I see two friends, heading my way. A hardworking couple, business people from the little town I live in 20 minutes up the highway. I must look ill or something because as they approach she has this look of deep empathy on her face. Her gentle, "How are you?" and open arms is met with a burst of tears that surprises all three of us. My 'internal critic' is having a field day as I tell them the story. Kindly, they offer their help. We go outside and have a look at the car and talk more about what could have happened. They agree, it's entirely possible that the key is at large. I tell them I'm going to phone my older daughter and ask her to bring me the spare key from home. Off they go to do their shopping, but before they leave, he says, we'll be back in twenty minutes to see how you've made out.
I call my older daughter on her cell. She is at work, but offers to run by the house and get the spare key. She calls her dear friends to meet her at her work, pick it up and run it to me. Twenty minutes later, as I look over all the keys they've brought and realize the spare is not among them, the original couple come back to check. They offer to take me to get Holly. She drives me, he stands guard beside the car, (his suggestion) just in case.
Now back, from picking up Holly, (a relief) and checking at the hardware store to see if they can cut a key from the factory code, which had arrived with the lot of keys, (they can't), the car dealership, that could (if they were open on a Sunday afternoon) my friends, who can really do nothing more, (since I don't want to leave the car there overnight, just in case the key is out there somewhere), leave to finish their shopping. (with their cell number carefully written down and in my wallet)
I call a towing company. Twenty minutes and forty-five dollars later, I find my keys, sitting on the seat, just under the towel that was carefully placed to camoflauge my electronics. A great big rush of gratitude!
Though earlier, I was exhausted, stressed and tearful and anything BUT grateful, as each helper appeared on the scene, my gratitude began to grow. By the time the ordeal was over, several hours after it had begun, I was standing in the parking lot of Staples, now revived, relieved and inexplicably happy.
Just as I am about to get into the car, keys in hand, a security guard from the mall comes up and asks if I am the person who lost her keys. Seems he and his partner have searched the mall and he's now coming outside to check the parking lot. I explain that I got them and I thank him. I feel blessed by the days challenge. I feel content.
Though at first I felt scared, alone and pitiful (or full of pity) I learned, yet again, that I am not alone. All around me, every day, are folks who love and care and want to help. I met about a half a dozen of them yesterday, serendipitously, and having them walk along beside me, even only briefly, helped transform a stressful event in an individual's life into a community building opportunity. I came home, feeling better than when I left, in spite of the tests I encountered on this leg of the journey. I feel blessed, and for that, I am truly, thankful.
Namaste`
~ Kate
The Practice of Gratitude:
I am grateful for my life.
I perceive the blessings in each moment.
I continually express appreciation.
I reflect on the good things of life.
I find value in my tests.
I celebrate abundance.
I am happy.
Reflection questions:
For what am I grateful?
What does an attitude of gratitude bring me in times of tests?
When has thankfulness soothed my sadness and restored my hope?
What does gratitude call me to today?
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