Volume 53 -- Steadfastness

I don't even want to know how many posts I missed this year, so I didn't look.  And I won't make any promises about 'getting back on track' -- at my house, I'm definitely in 'one day at a time mode'.

So it rankled a bit at first,  to choose Steadfastness out of the 100 possibilities.   But, having travelled with these qualities (some go so far as to call them an order of Angels)  these virtues, and knowing their power I trust that,  initial reaction aside, there is always a gift and a wisdom for me each time I randomly pick one.

"Steadfastness is being steady, persevering and dependable. (check -- blog notwithstanding)  We remain true to our purpose through whatever happens.  (check)  Steadfastness grows whenever we rise to a challenge.  (hmmmm, hadn't thought of it that way -- it kind of breeds itself)  It bolsters our will to keep going when life tests our resolve. (and to borrow an Oprahism -- one thing I know for sure is  -- Life Tests Our Resolve over and over again, often at the most inconvenient times)  We choose a direction, then keep a steady pace.  (slow and steady wins the race?)  We are faithful and enduring with those we love.  We commit ourselves to something for however long it may take.  We are like a strong ship in a storm.  We don't allow ourselves to be battered or blown off course.  We hold on and ride the waves."  Linda Kavelin Popov

Whenever I choose a virtue, I remind myself to take it as an invitation, confirmation or affirmation - NEVER condemnation.  So rather than beat myself about not being steadfast with this blog recently, I take it as an invitation.

Given the rest of the stuff (the life thing) that I'm called to being steadfast with these days, I may or may not accept that particular invitation.   I hope I do though, cause just sitting here, not really know what's going to come next is actually enjoyable.

But I do accept this as confirmation and affirmation of my steadfastness -- without which I could never have raised four children, largely alone.  Or have accomplished the things I have accomplished.

We --  all of us -- have our share of tests.  Individually and collectively -- things are tough out there.

There's the groaning planet and the moaning deniers.  (who have their own tests)  The struggling economy and the shrinking resources.

And each of us has our own personal challenges,  a relationship under duress, job stress, no job stress,
worries for our future, our children's future, a loved one's illness, a loved one's death, an empty nest.   Whatever it is.  That life thing that so takes its toll on us.  Did you know that fully 20 % of us are suffering with some kind of mental illness at any one time.   That is one sobering statistic.

Whatever your particular challenges, draw on steadfastness to help you get through it.

Our African-American brothers and sisters call it, "Keep on keepin' on."

I'm good at steadfastness in the big stuff -- been practicing it for decades, so that helps.  What's new for me is the idea that I don't have to be steadfast alone, like I thought I did for so many years.  There are plenty of dear friends willing to  stand behind and beside us when we reach out.

There always were such folks in my life, but I often forgot to invite them into the loop.  Now I'm thinking, how do we build community if we all suffer our life's tests stoically alone?

So I travel the latest life stuff with a team -- both here and there -- beside me and behind me.  With me.  And I'm discovering, it makes all the difference.

May it be so for you too.....

Namaste

~ Kate

The Practice of Steadfastness

I choose my commitments wisely.

I remain true to my purpose.

I pace myself.

I am faithful to my relationships.

I don't allow doubts or tests to blow me off course.

I take what comes and persevere.

I am thankful for the gift of Steadfastness.
It gives me the strength to endure.

Reflection Questions

What/who helps me stay true to my purpose?

What are the commitments I want to keep at this time, and what do I need to let go for a time?

What helps me pace myself when things get overwhelming?

Who is part of my team when life is calling me to be steadfast?

Volume 52 -- Assertiveness

"Dost thou reckon thyself a puny form, when within thee the universe is folded?"  Imam Ali

It's been several months since I wrote this blog. Unsure what to write about, I randomly picked the virtue of Assertiveness.  So here goes.

                                                       What is Assertiveness?

Linda Kavelin Popov, (you could call her the mother of the Virtues Project), tells us that:

"Assertiveness is speaking one's truth with peaceful confidence.  It is discerning the song we were given to sing and using our talents as a gift to the world.  We have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right.  We tell the truth about what is just.  Assertiveness comes from knowing our own worth, and honoring the dignity of who we are.  We stand on our own holy ground, and set boundaries without guilt.  We never beg or make demands.  We ask for what we need by making simple, positive requests.  We treat ourselves with respect and expect respect at all times."

Whew.   A tall order.  Especially when our wounded inner parts are elicited, something that happens more often than most of us are aware of.

Becoming respectfully  assertive was a long road for me. (and like anything else about my character, I'm not perfectly there all the time)  It involved growing over time and tribulation into that deep knowledge of my own worth and dignity.  And a strong belief in and respect for the worth and dignity of every other human being.


Over my almost six decades as a human being in my various roles as mother, friend, partner and colleague  I have learned how important assertiveness is to relationships and in communication.  To growth.  As municipal Councillor, I  find it important to hone the virtue of assertiveness as never before.

I am often touched by the assertiveness of the Coast Salish people, and the many constituents who  come forward to the Council table to question and even take an assertive stand against decisions they feel are not in our collective best interests or the best interests of the earth on which we all depend on for our very life.  

Many times those folks are respectfully assertive and no matter how their views differ, it feels like something special has just happened in the room.   Sometimes, people mistake aggression for assertiveness and leave respect at the door and the atmosphere feels tainted and an opportunity for understanding and community is lost.


 I never cease to be saddened by the way some people treat each other, in public and private.  All too often I call to mind Bill Cosby's "Hurt people hurt people." when faced with disrespect and abuse.

Today is Canada Day in the country I am blessed to call home, and in spite of what I'm about to say, I do feel very, very blessed to call Canada my home -- yet Canada as a country, (like me as a person, and perhaps you too)   has a lot to improve on.

 I  admit I can't celebrate Canada Day wholeheartedly.     Canada is  after all a colonized country and her First People still suffer, many without adequate housing, food and clean water and without settled and long promised Treaties.  Many of our First People's way of life continues to be threatened by policies that hurtle us closer to the abyss climate change is taking us to.  Many Canadian children (14%)  live in poverty.  Our standing on any number of international measures is shrinking.

For all our progress, individually and collectively, there is still so much to learn -- so much to do.  And  our First People and their traditional ways have much to teach.  I am so very grateful for their growing assertiveness.

Last week I attended the opening of a gym on the Halalt Reserve near my home.  It was a moving, spiritual morning as the community gathered to bless and honor their children and their people while they dedicated the space to health and growth.

Today, in our capitol city, Idle No More drummers and singers  were set to rally for change and for justice, not just for the First Peoples, but for the earth we all rely on for our sustenance -- for this country we all share.    Assertively.   I stand with them in spirit.

  

As a dear First Nation's friend posted this morning on Facebook.   "O Canada -- our home is native land."

Namaste to all my relations,

~ Kate

The Practice of Assertiveness

I speak my truth with confidence.

I value the gifts I have to give.

I stand up for what I think is right.

I honor my own worth.

I set clear boundaries.

I know I am worthy of respect.

I am thankful for the gift of Assertiveness.
It is the guardian of my dignity.

Reflection Questions

What do I want to stand for?

What are the boundaries I need to set in my life?

How can I more fully share my gifts with the world?

What would give me the courage to do these things?

Volume 51 - Resilience

"That which does not destroy, strengthens." Nietzsche

               aka  "If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger."

               or   "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."


What do these quotes  really mean?  Perhaps the virtue all these sayings point to is resilience.

After a recent meeting with someone I've known for almost three decades, (that included catching up on the eventful recent months of my life) she sent me an email admiring my resilience.  It called me to a new appreciation of the journey of my life and a new appreciation of the alchemical process that potentially turns our challenges into opportunity for growth.  And to a new recognition of  a core virtue I hadn't consciously realized I have.

I had shared that a long standing betrayal pattern in my life since childhood had played itself out yet again.  Causing trauma both fresh (and triggering old)  not only to myself, but to my family and even some friends.

Considering how blindsided, shocky and shaky I've felt inside, it was amazing to be acknowledged for resilience.

What is resilience and how does it apply when life hits us with its harshest adversity?

"Resilience is the strength of spirit to recover from adversity.  When we experience disappointment, loss, or tragedy, we find the hope and courage to carry on.  Humor lightens the load when it seems too heavy.  We overcome obstacles by tapping into a deep well of faith and endurance.   At times of loss, we come together for comfort.  We grieve and then move on.  We create new memories.  We discern the learning that can come from hardship.  We don't cower in the face of challenge. We engage fully in the dance of life."  Linda Kavelin Popov

Reading these words helped me realize that I am resilient.  I'm a survivor.  And even though its hard to find the humor in this situation, I am exactly where I must be given the circumstances -- grieving a traumatic loss -- in the process of moving on.

To have someone I rarely see and don't know that well recognize my resilience made all the difference in my perspective and called me to tap more deeply into the well of faith and endurance deep within.

Once again life didn't turn out the way I planned.  Once again I have an opportunity -- to become stronger in the broken places.

When you face one of life's inevitable heartaches, may you draw on your own deep well of resilience and keep on keeping on.

Namaste

~ Kate


The Practice of Resilience


When trouble comes, I stay strong

I have the flexibility to bounce back.

I have the faith to overcome.

I find comfort in community.

I trust hardship to cultivate my character.

I fully engage in living.

I am thankful for the gift of Resilience.  It keeps me growing.



Reflection Questions

How can I tap into the deep well of faith and endurance within?

What do I need to learn?

What gives me the hope to carry on when blindsided by life's heartaches?

Who is my community and what would help me reach out to them in times of trouble?