Linda Kavelin Popov says, "Sacrifice is the willingness to give up something important for something more important. It means to '"make sacred." When we sacrifice for those we care about, it is not a deprivation but a love offering. Sacrificing our time, our possessions, our personal comfort and our resources for something we care passionately about gives back to us a hundred fold. It is worth every drop of sweat and every wound we receive. It is in giving our all for a worthy purpose that we receive genuine prosperity."
My three 'island kids' and I spent much of the last couple of weeks with their sister, my oldest daughter, and her family who we don't see very often because they live in Northern Alberta.
As I watched them drive away this morning, heading for the ferry and the long trip home I was grateful for the sacrifice they made to enable us all to be together again this summer.
I realized that the two of them have sacrificed much for their family, including the freedom of their youth. They did it because they were willing to sacrifice something important for something more important. How did they know to do this?
Her partner, like her, was not privileged to grow up in an 'intact' nuclear family.
They fell in love at a pretty young age (high school sweethearts) and had their first child when they were both eighteen.
My beautiful granddaughter is now fourteen, her sister turns eleven this fall. Together with their little brother (newly five) they are my only grandchildren. I love them all fiercely.
I've watched their mom and dad sacrifice in order to raise them. They forfeited higher education, he to become the breadwinner, she to be the nurturing at home parent. They gave up those carefree 'party' years of late adolescence and early adulthood.
They willingly gave up some of their important 'dreams' for the well-being of their family. In order to make a decent living they've had to sacrifice family time while dad worked away from home for many years. In order to have dad home at night they sacrificed being close to extended family, (and easy access to higher education) by moving to Northern Alberta some years ago so that my son in law could continue in his profession AND be home to tuck the kids in most every night.
Like the rest of us, they haven't always done it perfectly. They may even have some regrets about choices made -- but overall they have made 'sacred' the bonds of family and stuck together -- though neither of them had a clue how to do so because they had never experienced or witnessed it before.
I am both proud and envious. Their kids have a confidence in themselves that warms my heart and I'm eager to watch their lives unfold.
As the child of a broken home I yearned for adulthood and the chance to create the kind of family life I did not have. In the end I was unable to maintain a strong nuclear family for my children and I felt deep grief at what I saw as my failure.
When I imagined my life as a youngster, the details were very different than what actually transpired. I didn't know what I didn't know and was often blindsided by the choices of others.
Like you I made my own sacrifices. In order to give my kids the best that I could deliver I opted to stay in the small towns they had been born in rather than live closer to family who could have lightened the load.
One of the things I sacrificed (due to long years of burn out and stress) was my health. Yet the silver lining of that is I've been blessed to find fulfilling work that allowed me plenty of time to be with them. I've given up many things I would have liked to do for myself so that I could be there for them.
Even so, what I gave my kids often wasn't nearly what they deserved (nor what they thought they wanted) and my energies were stretched pretty thin. Along the way many families 'sacrificed' in their own way to help me do it. Parents of my kids friends taking them under their wings, including them in their own families. Such a blessing.
Though the path wasn't as smooth as I envisioned and sometimes I wanted to quit - I gave my all because I believed it was a worthy purpose. (and our best is all we can do) I know you've done the same in your own life story.
Sitting in circle with my loved ones yesterday -- holding space as each one talked about their present feelings and hopes and fears for the year unfolding -- as each one was seen and valued and acknowledged for the character qualities -- virtues -- they exhibit, I got anew and in a deeper way than ever that my life is and has always been very very rich indeed.
Any regrets I might have about the way things have unfolded pale in the light of this bounty.
How thankful I am for the gifts of 'genuine prosperity' that arise from a life that includes personal sacrifice.
One of the great teachers once said, "O SON OF MAN! My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy." Baha'u'llah
I bow my head in gratitude to the Creator that made it so and who gave me the capacity to recognize it. How thankful I feel to have lived into that truth.
As we approach the Labor Day weekend -- let's take a moment in our lives to appreciate the sacrifices we made that brought us to the place we stand and the sacrifices of those who helped us along the way and lets light a candle or whisper a prayer for those in our world who seem to have lost their way.
Namaste
~ Kate
The Practice of Sacrifice
I discern my true passion.
I offer my love wholeheartedly.
I give whatever I can.
I invest completely in my life's purpose.
I accept the losses along with the gifts.
I am committed to the value of my dreams.
I am thankful for the gift of Sacrifice. It makes my life sacred.
Reflection Questions
What is my true passion?
How can I invest completely in my life's purpose?
How have my calamities been my providence?
What has been 'made sacred' by my sacrifice?
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