"The only lifelong, reliable motivations are those that come from within, and one of the strongest of those is the joy and pride that grow from knowing that you've just done something as well as you can do it."
Lloyd Dobens
I've been thinking about reliability for the last several weeks. Writing my monthly newsletter has been in the back of my mind for a month now.
It's been four years since a commitment to writing on the 1st of each month. Except for a couple of late posts -- I've keep that commitment -- until now.
Reliability is important to me. All through the 35 years I've been a parent -- my number one priority has been to reliably be there for my children. To be dependable. I wanted my kids to have good parenting, to be able to count on me to be responsible. I haven't always done it perfectly -- nobody ever can -- but for the most part I feel content with my performance as a parent.
If I take on a task for my business or any role, I do my utmost to be reliable.
Being reliable and responsible have been core qualities of mine.
I don't know about you, but I've found through my life that getting the lessons I'm here to learn can be a long time coming. I seem to cycle through different situations whose teachable moments take me back to the same lessons. My overall commitment to being reliable and responsible is pretty consistent but falls down when I reliably take on more than I can reasonably accomplish. An old habit, that is hard to break.
Linda Kavelin Popov reminds us that reliability is about 'genuinely caring about our commitments."
Check.
She goes on to say, "When we say we will do something, we do it in a predictable way, without forgetting or having to be reminded." Check. (mostly)
And, "we avoid taking on too much, so we can give fully to what we choose to do. We finish on time."
Ah -- well -- been slipping a bit in that department.
This is nothing new, my lifelong habit has been to gradually take on way more than I can do -- realize I've done so, keep doing it anyway -- until I'm too exhausted to keep on keeping on, and I have to take time to recuperate. (and she swallowed another bite of humble pie) Somehow I suspect I'm not alone. For many of us, even when we have booked vacation time -- we fill it with all the things/jobs/projects we don't have time to accomplish during the work year.
Recently, two commitments I made to a board I serve on, (and love) had to be let go as I realized I hadn't had a day off in weeks and I was just too tired to conbribute. Wonder if that's why my normal joyful optimism has been hard to find lately? Hmmm.
Thankfully, though nearing that place of exhaustion, I'm literally on the eve of an annual week long retreat with my women's group. We've been spending time together every year since 1980.
Tomorrow I travel with one of my closest friends through the mountains of Western Washington, catching up on this last eventful year in both our lives. We will arrive tomorrow evening at a beautiful lakefront retreat in the high desert -- to be greeted by 8 more loving women friends and will spend the next week swimming, singing, crafting, talking, sharing, eating, walking and sleeping.
I will reflect on how I am reliable. How I try not to let any obstacle stop me from giving my best.
And I will reflect on how my habit of trying not to say no can become an obstacle to doing my best in all my commitments. When I take on more than I can reliably accomplish. When I don't make time for play and rest and recreation. I will once again reflect on creating balance in my life.
And after a week I will come back to day to day life, to my beloved family and my now not so new job -- refreshed, renewed and ready to attempt to dance the dance of life more reliably.
Towards my family, my colleagues and my community. And -- Goddess willing -- I won't again forget to be more reliable to my own precious self. (and if/when I do -- I'll have the wisdom to make time for a mini retreat to get myself back in balance)
If you have already learned this important lesson, I bow to you. If, like me, you are still learning it -- I encourage you take your own mini retreat-- a day at the beach, in your garden, a hike, working at a craft or hobby that makes your heart sing, even a day bed with a good book -- whatever helps you to restore and refresh.
To take the time to create once again the balance you need in your life to be joyfully reliable and reliably joyful.
Namaste
~ Kate
The Practice of Reliability
I choose my commitments wisely.
Others can depend on me.
I take responsibility for what I promise.
I am consistent in giving my best.
My word is my bond.
I give full support to those I love.
I am thankful for the gift of Reliability.
It is the strength in my promises.
Reflection Questions
What prevents me from being reliable?
How can I ensure I don't take on more than I can handle?
How can I be more reliable to my own joy?
What boundaries would help me be more reliable?
Lloyd Dobens
I've been thinking about reliability for the last several weeks. Writing my monthly newsletter has been in the back of my mind for a month now.
It's been four years since a commitment to writing on the 1st of each month. Except for a couple of late posts -- I've keep that commitment -- until now.
Reliability is important to me. All through the 35 years I've been a parent -- my number one priority has been to reliably be there for my children. To be dependable. I wanted my kids to have good parenting, to be able to count on me to be responsible. I haven't always done it perfectly -- nobody ever can -- but for the most part I feel content with my performance as a parent.
If I take on a task for my business or any role, I do my utmost to be reliable.
Being reliable and responsible have been core qualities of mine.
I don't know about you, but I've found through my life that getting the lessons I'm here to learn can be a long time coming. I seem to cycle through different situations whose teachable moments take me back to the same lessons. My overall commitment to being reliable and responsible is pretty consistent but falls down when I reliably take on more than I can reasonably accomplish. An old habit, that is hard to break.
Linda Kavelin Popov reminds us that reliability is about 'genuinely caring about our commitments."
Check.
She goes on to say, "When we say we will do something, we do it in a predictable way, without forgetting or having to be reminded." Check. (mostly)
And, "we avoid taking on too much, so we can give fully to what we choose to do. We finish on time."
Ah -- well -- been slipping a bit in that department.
This is nothing new, my lifelong habit has been to gradually take on way more than I can do -- realize I've done so, keep doing it anyway -- until I'm too exhausted to keep on keeping on, and I have to take time to recuperate. (and she swallowed another bite of humble pie) Somehow I suspect I'm not alone. For many of us, even when we have booked vacation time -- we fill it with all the things/jobs/projects we don't have time to accomplish during the work year.
Recently, two commitments I made to a board I serve on, (and love) had to be let go as I realized I hadn't had a day off in weeks and I was just too tired to conbribute. Wonder if that's why my normal joyful optimism has been hard to find lately? Hmmm.
Thankfully, though nearing that place of exhaustion, I'm literally on the eve of an annual week long retreat with my women's group. We've been spending time together every year since 1980.
Tomorrow I travel with one of my closest friends through the mountains of Western Washington, catching up on this last eventful year in both our lives. We will arrive tomorrow evening at a beautiful lakefront retreat in the high desert -- to be greeted by 8 more loving women friends and will spend the next week swimming, singing, crafting, talking, sharing, eating, walking and sleeping.
I will reflect on how I am reliable. How I try not to let any obstacle stop me from giving my best.
And I will reflect on how my habit of trying not to say no can become an obstacle to doing my best in all my commitments. When I take on more than I can reliably accomplish. When I don't make time for play and rest and recreation. I will once again reflect on creating balance in my life.
And after a week I will come back to day to day life, to my beloved family and my now not so new job -- refreshed, renewed and ready to attempt to dance the dance of life more reliably.
Towards my family, my colleagues and my community. And -- Goddess willing -- I won't again forget to be more reliable to my own precious self. (and if/when I do -- I'll have the wisdom to make time for a mini retreat to get myself back in balance)
If you have already learned this important lesson, I bow to you. If, like me, you are still learning it -- I encourage you take your own mini retreat-- a day at the beach, in your garden, a hike, working at a craft or hobby that makes your heart sing, even a day bed with a good book -- whatever helps you to restore and refresh.
To take the time to create once again the balance you need in your life to be joyfully reliable and reliably joyful.
Namaste
~ Kate
The Practice of Reliability
I choose my commitments wisely.
Others can depend on me.
I take responsibility for what I promise.
I am consistent in giving my best.
My word is my bond.
I give full support to those I love.
I am thankful for the gift of Reliability.
It is the strength in my promises.
Reflection Questions
What prevents me from being reliable?
How can I ensure I don't take on more than I can handle?
How can I be more reliable to my own joy?
What boundaries would help me be more reliable?
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