Volume 34 - Trust

The virtue of Trust has been coming to me lately.  At a recent workshop, I modeled a virtues pick.  (If you'd like to try one, click on the link to your right under ACTIVITIES)  You begin by thinking about an issue in your life, then pick the virtue, read it, and consider how it 'speaks' to you.

Whenever I ask participants to try an exercise, I model it for them.  So I talked about an issue in my own life, what was 'up' for me if you will.

I talked about my feelings around my son and his leaving home.  His journey of becoming a man.

He's not taking a traditional path, but going out and exploring life on his own terms.  He's hit the road, checking out the province.  Being Mom -- of course I worry.  At the time of the workshop, he'd been gone for two days.  I had asked him if he'd call when he got to his first destination, a new age conference/festival near Boston Bar.

He had been noncommittal at the time, but I heard "Yes" -- in spite of the fact that he's been preparing me for a couple of years for the time when he set out on his 'adventure' -- telling me not to worry if I didn't hear from him for awhile.  Telling me he needed to break away from home.  Wisely letting me know that he recognized our relationship needs to change.  That he needs to become the maker of his life.

Even with all that preparation, I was worried I hadn't heard from him.  (after all, he said he'd call went my mind mantra)

I told them how hard it is for me to let him go and not keep carrying thoughts of him in my mind and images of him in my heart almost every waking moment.  About the feelings of grief I have that our journey together is forever changed.  How fast it all seemed to happen!  Just the other day, he was a baby climbing the stairs,  a toddler climbing the furniture,  a pre-schooler climbing a slide, a six-year-old climbing a tree, a 'tween climbing a mountain.  How could that all be over?

A tear or two was spilled.  Then I realized its not over, just changing.  Now he's a young man, climbing out of the comfort of home to a place in the world.  And my job is to let him know I have every confidence in his ability to do so.

At the end of sharing, I pulled a virtue from the basket in the middle of the table.  "Trust."  It always astounds me, in spite of 100 to 1 odds, I get just the card I need at that moment.

"Trust is having faith, hope and a positive outlook.  Trust is believing in someone or something.  We have confidence that the right thing will come about without trying to control it or make it happen.  We trust others to do what they say they will do, and give them the space to be trustworthy.  Sometimes it is difficult to trust when life brings painful experiences.  Trust is being sure, in the depths of our being, that there is some gift or learning in everything that happens.  We move confidently with the flow of life, gathering strength from adversity.  We know we are never alone."  --Linda Kavelin Popov

Holding on to trust got me through the next week.  It was fully 10 days until I heard from him.  When I asked him why he hadn't called, his immediate answer, in a confused tone of voice was, "I did call."  And so he did.  And will again.
In his way and on his way to independence.

Funny how life  works -- as I wrote that,  he called again.   From Nelson, where he's checking out the Kootenay School of the Arts -- in his way, on his terms.  It was wonderful to hear his voice, but even more wonderful to hear his confidence.  His independence.  I was able to stand aside and listen deeply to his plans and to his dreams.  I resisted giving him advice, trusting that he is doing his life, in his way.  It felt good.

Ironic that this happened on the eve of Canada Day.  As we Canadians celebrate our independence this July 1st, I'm comforted to know that the same spirit that founded this beautiful country lives in so many of our young people.  Pioneering a new world, they have much to bring to the table.  In their way, in their time.  Knowing that, I'm somehow comforted.

So I hold my son in trust.  Like his forebears, he is walking his own path.  I trust it will lead to good things.


Namaste

~ Kate

The Practice of Trust


I maintain my hope.


I do not nag others or try to control them.


I believe there is some good in everything that happens.


I allow trust to heal my fears.


I am confident in my capacity for lifelong learning.


I rely on Divine assistance.


I am thankful for the gift of trust.  It renews my strength.


Reflection questions:


What situation in my life calls me to trust?


How can I trust that my loved ones have everything they need to lead their own lives?


What fears could trust heal?


How can I move confidently with the flow of life?